Third year anniversary.
Dear diary— No, that sounds terrible.
Diary, today it's my third year at mortal realm birthday. Three years since I've left the Hell, or Underworld, how father wants it to be referred like. I've decided to write down a diary, a diary of my time on Mortal realm and what I've been learning from the experience of direct contact with humans, their cultures and lives.
The last three years had been at most, insanely busy. I've had learned so much things about humans that ever before, making deals with them.
I haven't seen brother ever since. Nor father, but he said that eventually he would come to visit.
Humans have a measure to time crazily detailed, also. Years, months, weeks, days, hours and seconds. From the Underworld, time was a stupidity long period we didn't felt the need to measure. I felt like measuring time so I kept calendars to be aware how much time I was living here.
I also opened a business, a restaurant named Onigiri Miya, my surname adopted when I came to Mortal realm. Also, now I go by Osamu, not Amon. Father wasn't happy with my change of name, tempt to suggest I would have a change of heart and want to stay here. Although, brother also adopted a mortal name and even the same surname as me, even if he didn't plan into coming here.
Father gave me this unlimited time to "rest", as he said, so for now, there's no hurry to go back to the Underworld.
I'll stay here until I consider coming back.
Sincerely, Osamu Miya.
Osamu Miya, or Amon
is a contract demon — a devil — son of a mysterious and powerful being not revealed in his notes of his discovers about the Mortal realm, the home of all living beings.
Actually the owner of the restaurant Onigiri Miya and father of a cat named Venus, Osamu live his new life enjoying the new world at the reach of his hands.
Chronologically, every write of Osamu about his daily life.
What I've learned about humans.
Although I passed a long, most part of my existence, making deals with humans, giving the taste of reality for their more insane and luxurious desires, consuming their happiness, their sanity or even their senses, I couldn't completely understand them. Actually, humans are even more complexes than I could ever think.
Their motivations, bonds, experiences, this all is something I've been so curious and mesmerized about even since the first moment I had contact with one of them.
Humans are very, if not completely, different from demons. And completely different beings from us, devils, although in the comprehension of humans, we're all the same.
We can't feel by ourselves. Their moment sadness, their passion, and even their fear, we aren't capable of understanding. But we're capable to feel.
Like the way I do.
The act of touching a human is something big to devils and demons, but something so natural and trivial to them, they hug, kiss and shake hands, but because they can't do what we do.
When a devil touch a human, there's something like a bond between the two of them, a devil momentarily capacity of feeling what the human feel in that instant. I've been doing this for every second not just when I came to Mortal realm, but ever since I had my first contract and meet my first human, so long ago I can't even remember their face.
Pain, terror, panic, grief. Happiness, excitement, luxury, joy.
Not even a single one feeling can be matched to another, each one human have their feeling so unique and undescribable it's always a surprise to feel them.
At this point, I can feel by myself. Anger, happiness, everything, not needing a human to feel. But there are feelings that I still can't understand.
And now, I don't think of humans like a terrible, putrefactive specie, but I found them... Slightly adorable. And even good friends, partners and companions, although I'm almost sure they would react as I'm treating them like pets. And maybe I'm, I don't know. I still couldn't feel sympathy for one person, even though I've had experienced that feeling before though the touch, I've never felt it by myself.
I still don't recognize humans as equals.
Stomach ache.
The last few days I've had experienced something new; sickness. To be honest, I'm very confused and at first, couldn't believe a demon could fall into sickness, but here I'm, sore throat, headache and dizzying like a human. Ha, that's so ironic.
I couldn't update my diary pages because of my state, and since that's the first time I've been sick, I didn't actually know how to deal with it. So I googled, obviously. . . Didn't helped much, so I went to take advice from humans.
I'm recovering, even if slowly.
But the reason I've came here to relate wasn't only about this new thing I've learned about me, but because of the insistent pain in my stomach, unrelated to my previous symptoms. Actually, this pain isn't related to sickness at all.
It's related to Mother.
Dear lord, I've just felt my house get colder? Father really hate when I write, talk or think about her. I imagine how would he react if he found out the scar she left on me it's paining again.
Oh, yes. My mother scarred me. A vertical, white and subtle scar at the height of my abdomen, which I've received when trying to stop her from hurting Brother. The reason Father abandoned and imprisoned her.
You see, demons aren't easy beings to scar, not at all; our skin is hard and resistant as a rock, even more, and the only way to hurt, mark, scar or kill one of us is with sacred blades.
Which one of them Mother used to scar and mark me and kill a bunch of noble demons who served Father.
And which one of them Mother used to curse me.
Today, after so many decades of that fatidical day, the scar pained badly, making me fall down in agony, scaring the Employees of Onigiri Miya. Wasn't a pretty scene. When I left saying I was going to see a doctor, I thought maybe it was related to sickness, or perhaps gas accumulation in me, which I've read can be also painful to humans.
The pain didn't stopped there, by the way.
I knew Mother could try to use the connection of the curse, but I still don't understand why now she would do that.
I'm not telling father, because I know he'll try to drag me back to the Underworld, so I'll wait for the pain to let me be.
Hunt It Down.
You see, I'm really chill, even for a Devil. My kind don't hesitate to rage and put lower beings on their places without even thinking twice. It's not pretty, not at all, especially how messy we can make it be.
But, although I usually don't resort to violence, I'm not that much different to my kind when the rage runs my veins.
A few days ago, I was bringing a friend back home when I felt something try to drill into my barriers. A fucking low imp trying to hunt me and getting my friend into danger.
A high class devil like me of course draws a lot of attention, since I've been lacking caution and leaving my mark everywhere, and living in mortal realm for such a long time, it took a lot to some more daring inferior devil would try to make a move to take the... To take me down.
But oh, I wouldn't let such a low stupid imp get into my nerves. Of course not. Father raised me well.
Then I did turn the table to me. I hunted it down, scaring him, cornering him, then letting it go, so I could keep going after him.
I usually use my abilities to hunt or violence. But, as I said before.
Things got messy when I finally tired myself from hunting it.
I doubt some imp will dare try so for now on. Especially after the show I put.
They forgot why Father nominated me as Lord of Wrath.
Hard times.
It's been a while, isn't it? I don't even remember what I wrote last time. The last days had been... Surprisingly difficult to get through. The burning in my scar only worsen every time it pains, which has became frequently. On work, with my friends, and even alone, there's not a exact moment it can happens. It just... Does. I haven't contacted Father yet. Much less Mother.
I also feel something new: burnout. Something very similar when I overused my rage, the physical exhaustion, but now it's... Emotional. Like I'm tired, even having energy to the day ahead, I just feel exhausted.
Thanks to this, it has became difficult to deal with my power. I almost accidentally enraged a little girl today. I was trying to hand her a onigiri shaped as a bunny. It was so close, so close. If I hadn't contained it right on the moment... I panicked. Took a break and damned hell, I was hyperventilating in the moment I locked myself into my office.
I don't know what's happening. I'm anxious, insecure, agitated. Out of control. This scares the shit out of me.
I... Also think I like someone. Could this be the reason why I'm going out of control? I ever heard about how uncontrollably attraction can be, and I had felt attraction before... No, it can't be it.
I'll... Try to get going. Hope I'll get fine eventually.